1. I voted Republican because you can blame problems on poor people instead of the rich ones who actually run things. 2. I voted Republican because firefighters and teachers are scum-sucking leaches, but the oil companies raking in record profits NEED those hundreds of millions in taxpayer subsidies. 3. I voted Republican because I believe companies like my cable TV provider, insurance company and credit card company could do a better job running the country than the government, no matter how much they screw me over. 4. I voted Republican because I don’t trust the government, although I favored the government spying on my health/financial records and tapping my phone when Bush was in office to keep us safe from ‘trrists. 5. I voted Republican because I don't really care whether terrorists, murderers and drug dealers own guns or not. 6. I voted Republican because I believe climate change doesn't exist; if I can't see it with my own two eyes, it doesn't exist. Like gravity. 7. I voted Republican because I hate women having abortions, but once the baby is born and dies from a preventable illness that’ okay. 8. I voted Republican because I believe in laying off workers to boost profits; then I get to complain about lazy unemployed people. 9. I voted Republican because I understand capitalism. Demand doesn’t increase jobs…ensuring corporations pay no taxes and cutting healthcare and education does. 10. I voted Republican because I care about the deficit and support cutting services that I really need. But extra tax cuts for the superrich that actually caused the deficit should be extended indefinitely. 11. I voted Republican because I believe in never having to solve any problems in the government because I insist government is the problem anyway. 12. I voted Republican because I hate activist judges, unless they are conservative (Yes, corporations should get to spend unlimited money in elections). 13. I voted Republican because spite and fear is better than hope and change.